The Closest Thing to Closure.

I've had my fair share of playing with fire.
I regret striking the match.
But the fire shed light on what needed to be lit.

Closure is hard to come by.

I don't want to go through it again.
I don't want to feel it again.
I don't want to be alone.

The strange thing about it all is..
if this provokes anger, then something is wrong.
This should provoke a different batch of emotions.
Sentiment.

Fire.

Regret.

Light.

Reason.

Alone.

Anger?

Sentiment.

memories.

today i came home from work completely exhausted. my love is feeling sick lately, and it's bringing me down because i can't be there to take care of her. exhausted from work, i thought taking a bath would be the cure. as i laid in the bathtub listening to our favorite songs, so many memories came back to warm my heart. she is always on my mind, but i'm completely okay with that.

As i laid there, i just thought of these.

The first conversation.

The first meal.

The first time car ride.

The first attempt at understanding your beauty.

The first valentines.

The first time I ran my fingers across your skin.

The first date.

The first time I knew I wanted to love you.

The first time we went longboarding.

The first time we through frisbee.

The first swim.

The first time we went kayaking.

The first time it stormed and you needed me.

The first time you thought there would be a tornado.

The first time we played soccer together.

The first time I cooked for you.

Definitely, the first time you cooked for me.

The first concert we shared.

The first walk down Peachtree.

The first time I realized I could never understand your beauty.

The first time you called me masey.

The first popsicle we had together.

The first goodbye for summer.

The first time our lips locked.

The first time I told you I loved you.

The first time you told me you loved me.

The first time we danced.

The first sunset, soaked in sunlight.

The first fight.

The first time I realized that you were the only woman in the world that I would ever want to take through the journey of marriage. The one woman in the world that takes my burdens away, and judges me for my heart. The one woman who knows me like no one else. The one woman I can share anything with, and be completely honest about anything. The one woman who's face is abundantly doused in beauty. The one woman who took my heart, and proudly made it her own. This is love, and every other word that could possibly cover the feeling.

"The Night Will Go As Follows"

how true are these words.

this is just one of those songs.

that just chills you when its true.

In a romantic fashion
I will experiment with my fear right before her eyes
And every smile that's unveiled will be soaked
In my nervous charm

Then I'll say
"Is everything alright?
There's been a few things I've been meaning
To let go of tonight"
And she will say
"Everything's just fine
So you can put an end to your worrying mind"
And then our lips will collide

The August sky will then bare witness
To a brand new chapter with torn up pages
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening
To my courage
As I proceed to run my fingers through her hair
And forget everyone who's jaded, 'cause they don't matter
And I don't care

In a confident fashion
I will admit my deepest and darkest to her
And every gaze across the table
Will send my unsuspecting body into shock

Then I'll say
"Would you like to go inside?
And forget the world and the rules
By which we are to abide"
And she will say
"There's nothing I want more"
As we step into the room, turn off the lights and close the door

The August sky will then bare witness
To a brand new chapter with torn up pages
When the planets align, I can feel the gates opening
To my courage
As I proceed to run my fingers through her hair
And forget everyone who's jaded, 'cause they don't matter
And I don't care
No, 'cause they don't matter
And I don't care

Brash and hopeful
That my luck will not perish tonight
When the overcast tries to kill me
It's your slow motion rain
That falls warm on my neck that keep me alive

Consider this song a testament
Of my devotion to your sacharrine scent
And to be completely honest
You're not like all the rest
You're not like all the rest

You're not like all the rest

Love is...

Patient.

Kind.

Selfless.

Radiant.

Merry.

Truth.

Fulfilling.

Devoted.

Priceless.

Genuine.

Hard.

Loyal.

Perfect.

Everything.

Forever.

I just wish people loved like this.

This is what I aspire to give to you.

I just can't believe some people do the exact opposite of this.

I just can't believe that a man would lay hands on a woman in violence.

I just can't believe that a man would cheat with another woman.

I just can't believe the will to betray.

Don't say you love her if you really don't.

"i will always despise you. betrayer,

where is your head. betrayer,

where is your heart. betrayer,

i will never be like you. betrayer,

i will always despise you."

I will give her everything you wouldn't.

I will give her everything you couldn't.

Everything you will never give anyone.

Chew on your conscious, betrayer.

Times

I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, but its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you'
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?

im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone
i dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends.

Change if you want,

but don't you go and change for me
I will love you as you are
I didn't mean to make you want to leave

cookies and balloons.